Saturday, July 30, 2011

What Now?

First I had to learn English for these boobs. They hadn't bothered to learn any of my words and couldn't understand me. Then they looked surprised when I got frustrated. They're really not that bright. (more)

Then the short squishy one taught me some signs to use so we could communicate. *sigh* I learned their stupid signs. Then she wanted me to talk so I learned English. (I'm still learning. English is really complicated!)

Now the big bald one wants me to use a potty. I mean really. What more do I have to do for these people? Fine. I let the squishy one show me how to use a potty and I figured it all out and got to the point where I was in these weird "underwear" things all day. The bozos were very happy and all smiley. Great.

Apparently they wanted me to do it ALL THE TIME! A couple of days wasn't enough. Haven't I done enough for them already? I mean, GEEZ. So now they're upset that I'm not using the stupid potty AT ALL. I think I've done my fair share here.

The squishy one got frustrated and let me go back to wearing diapers. She said she was tired of me peeing on everything she owns. She even told the big bald one that I was standing right next to the potty and peed on the floor. She told him I sat on the couch and peed on that. She told him I peed on the bed and she had to wash the comforter, sheets and mattress. It's all true.

No one mentioned this in the mission dossier before I came here. Not a word. I didn't sign up for this constant harassment, embarrassment and humiliation. I'm paying them back though. Today alone I've peed on the carpet in the laundry room, on the floor in the kitchen, and pooped in my underwear. Another couple of days of this and they won't mess with ME anymore!

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