I Had To Convert

I finally broke down and learned English because these boobs were just not getting what I was saying. GEEZ. It’s been over a year. You’d think something would have poked its way through their brain fog. The little squishy one taught me hand signals that she and I use to communicate, but the big bald one just stares at me when I try them with him. Apparently the little one is the brains of the operation.

So, this week I yelled, “COOL!” and “MOMMA!” and they added that to my “daw” and accompanying “woo! woo! woo!”. The little squishy one got all smiley when she realized I meant “dog” “woof woof woof”. (She can be taught!)

They also seem to like it when I put my hands over my eyes and then pop out from behind them. If I do it, they’ll do it too. When I bark, they will too. When I say something, they say it back. Basically, they’re big fat parrots.

*heavy sigh*

So, outside. The first place we were we went outside a lot. The little squishy one took me for walks. The big bald one took me for walks. We were always freaking WALKING. Then, we got on those wheeled cans that make lots of noise and feel like they’re pushing down on your head until you can’t take anymore and go to sleep. AIRPLANES.

Anyway, we got here. Wherever here is. Here was really HOT. We tried going outside but it was too hot, we got all sweaty. Me sweating was one thing. Those two? Forget it. The heat also changes that green crap. GRASS.

*shudder*

Before it was cool and tickly and I didn’t like walking on it. Here it’s sharp and pointy and I don’t like walking on it. Now they call me “Princess” because I walk up to the edge of the grass and then hold my arms up until one of them stops laughing and picks me up like they’re supposed to.

Can I trade these morons in and get a pet? Like a giraffe?